You’ve probably read a number of different tips saying what you should and shouldn’t do to have a lasting marriage. Here we’re presenting you with the “proven stuff” which is backed by the solid research.
1. Similar spenders click better
According to analysis conducted by Scott Rick of the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business and his colleagues, people tend to choose their spending opposites as romantic partners. However, the financial opposites had greater conflicts over money and lower marital satisfaction in the long run. Rick added: “Even though a spendthrift will have greater debt when married to another spendthrift than when married to a tightwad, the spendthrift is still less likely to argue about money with the other spendthrift.”
2. Sex is crucial
Michelle Russell and James McNulty of the University of Tennessee have found that frequent sex could be the answer for many problems in the marriage. Neurotic newlyweds who had lots of sex were just as satisfied with their marriages as their less neurotic counterparts were. With the time, things change, but another study suggests that men in their 50s are more satisfied with their sex lives than men in their 30s and 40s. What’s more, these men recorded similar levels of satisfaction as 20- to 29-year-olds.
3. Saying “Thank you” and “we” helps a lot
“Thank you” is one of those phrases that can get you a long way. In 2007, researchers from Arizona State University asked married partners and student roommates whether they appreciated the chores done by the other person. Results showed that individuals who felt appreciated by their partners had less resentment over any imbalance in labor and more satisfaction with their relationships than other study participants did.
The other magic word is “we,” as opposed to “I”, “me” and “you.” Apparently, spouses who used “we,” “our” and “us” when talking about a conflict also showed more affection, fewer negative behaviors and lower physiological stress levels during the disagreement.
4. Work at your relationship
From time to time, romantic love could use a push. In 2009, the Review of General Psychology released results of surveys of more than 6,000 people, including new relationships and marriages that had lasted at least 20 years. A surprisingly high number of people were still very much in love with their long-term partners. They also found that the key to keeping that romance alive is hard work, with couples spending time and caring about the relationship having a much better chance of succeeding in the long run. When you think about it, this is pretty much common sense, but unfortunately not the common practice…