1. Have your own personality
You’ve heard this before – you need to “be yourself.” It’s much easier said than done especially when you’re in a group of people with whose actions or attitudes you strongly disagree. And while it may seem stupid to do something counter to what the group or the most popular guy/gal says/does, long term – you’ll benefit from taking your own route, attracting the right kind of people to hang out with.
2. Avoid gossip
Gossip can be dangerous for your relationships. If a friend hears you badmouthing someone who’s not present at the moment, he/she can justly think they are your next target (when they’re not around). If you’ve heard something shocking about someone you’re friends with, see if you can ask them about it personally. Going through other people can only make things worse.
3. Defend your friends
When your friends are not there, it’s your duty to protect them. Don’t let other people gossip your friends when they are not present to defend themselves. It’s not just their but also your own reputation that’s on the line – by defending your friends, you defend your integrity, too. And let’s remember – this is something good friends do for each other.
4. Listen and offer advice when needed
These days everyone has an advice for someone else. Don’t be that guy – rather, first listen, ask questions (i.e. “Do you think that was the right thing to do?”) and then give an advice if asked for. Otherwise, if no one asked for your opinion, keep asking questions so that your friend can make his/her own decision. The good question to ask to lead them to action is – “So what do you plan to do about it?”
5. Boyfriends and girlfriends
Be careful with boyfriends and girlfriends. You don’t want to hook up with your friend’s ex a week after they broke up. Remember to talk to your friend before making any moves. He/she should appreciate you being concerned about his/her feelings.
6. Give THEN take
The easiest way to get closer with people is to give first and only ask for favors/items later one. See if you can help someone you want to hang out with more. Similarly, remember to return favors to people who already did something for you. You shouldn’t calculate things — it’s more subtle than that — but you should watch that other people don’t take advantage of you. By default you should give your time to others and see where that leads to.
Anything else?
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